Negotiation Tool 7 : Ask “NO” Type Questions
The power of asking “No” questions instead of “Yes” questions.
Does yes really always mean yes?
Absolutely not.
When we say yes, we’re committing to something. And immediately after we’ve committed, we begin worrying about what we’ve just signed up for.
Which means, at best, every yes is a conditional yes. And oftentimes, it’s even worse: a counterfeit yes that’s uttered simply to get the other side to shut up.
Would it be ridiculous to find out that getting the other side to say no is actually what you should be gunning for when you sit down at the table?
Often, a no can be much more valuable than a yes. In certain circumstances, people feel safe and protected by a no. So, a question like “Is this a good idea?” may be better phrased as “Is this a ridiculous idea?”;
“Can you agree to do it this way?” could be better presented as “Do you think it’s unreasonable if we can both agree to take things in this direction?”
When answering a yes question, people are going to feel that every piece of information they provide is another commitment to be made.
By contrast, a no relieves them of the sense that they may have just surrendered their entire negotiating position. Avoiding yes in favor of no helps ease the other side’s fear of commitment. Here again, a negative emotion is being deactivated. And don’t forget that no is equally valuable to your own cause. After saying no, use dynamic silence to let it sink in, demonstrating to your partner that you stand by your word.
So next time, try using the “No” type questions. Pretty much every yes-oriented question you ask can be flipped around by adding phrases like these to your statement:
- Have you given up on … ?
- Is it ridiculous … ?
- Would it be horrible … ?
- Is it a bad idea … ?
Wasn’t this lesson interesting? Something new.
Note : Since these are mostly notes, I have tried not to be extra creative with my sentences. The phrases are mostly extracted from the source, as they were. Due credits go to MasterClass.
